spend my whole day at home. din really did much at home except eating, sleeping and going online to chat. and i have wasted a lot of my days doin nth. having camp, having outings, and slacking at home. watsed a lot of my ''youth'' .

somehow i really hated her a lot. dun ask mii y bahs.. cos i m afraid dat something might really happen so.... .. aiya juz hate lo. zZzZzZ

recently, i had found out that i m being so moody. its not emo. i dun really like doing anythin. how i wish i could juz stare out of my window, thinking what m i doing. and try out to find out wats my goal. how i wish i am able to find out who i really was.

chatted online wif regina juz now abt the rank dat we are holding on to. i realised that, i dun really own the rank that i m having right now. so what i m a staff sergeant? i owned many ranks. lance corpal, corpal, 3rd sergeant, 2nd sergeant, 1st sergeant and staff sergeant. so.. whats up wif a staff sergeant? yea i feel happi, but i m nt 100% happy and contented. this is sth that i have heard from spec course in the past.

TO:augustine. if euu see this post juz gib mii a tag. i wouldnt mind if euu let other cadets see my blog.

''RANK IS JUST A PIECE OF CLOTH( or should i say its a piece of useless cloth? ) WHAT EU SHOULD REALLY GET IS UR RESPECT THAT YOU GET FROM UR JUNIOR. EARN UR RESPECT FORM THEM'' this is wat i have learnt. so what if ur rank is really dat high? and no 1 really respected eu? dats dumb.and dats all i could say. just remember dat in ur heart always and, i dun really noe if i get any respect from euu all.and i hope to earn it myself thoug its difficult. and i hope that if euu guys respect mii juz tag mii. if euu dun. juz let mii noe dat eu have seen my blog. by private msg mii or anythin euu guys wan.

and let mii share wif euu a personal story abt mii.. in the past, during CNC (command and control) when i tried to command my own platoon, my platoon mates cant even hear mii. and i could say i was as jia lat ( worse ) as euu guys. and i bet some of euu even did better than mii. if i m able to get a staff sergeant, so could euu.. all the best to euu guys in ur future.. and try to uphold ncc core values.

TO:kamalraj
i noe noted that euu have once told mii dat euu guys will try to control ncc well. and euu would also try to do even as well as other sch. and euu even said that euu would let all the cadets sit in thiam postition durin normal time. and i hope dat i would be able to see these results when i came back nxt yr.. =)

i dun really noe if i have really regretted sittin in the class alone during last yr N lvl FnN. if nt, those thing wouldnt had happened and i wouldnt have met euu.. ( or met euu all)
and i m sure i wouldnt have hurt euu dat badly then. if i m able to go back to the past and change everything, i would hope dat i wouldnt have created frenster, nor hoping that euu would step into my class and help mii turning on my lights nor replying euu all my names when i go home dat time..

and i m sry.. althou sry doesnt seems anythin but i hope dat let euu noe dat it takes a lot of courage for a guy to own up to someone he hurt by saying sry or i love eu to the ones he love.


how i wish i could turn back the clock, and changes the past.. and i wouldnt have regretted then